6/07 The road to recovery

Well Stephen was doing really good. They started him on feeds last Wednesday at 10cc's and were going up 3cc's every feed, they got him up to 40cc's. On Friday he was not interested in the bottle feeds at all. He wasn't too thrilled to begin with, the sucking and swallowing is sure hard to coordinate after beind intubated and other things in your mouth for so long and it is not like 2nd nature they have to learn it. He also was sort of curious with his passy, but when Friday came he wasn't. So they put an NG tube in to give him what he wouldn't finish. After they put the NG tube in he wouldn't take the bottle at all or his passy...So Saturday he was throwing up his feeds and I had a bad feeling about it. Sunday morning when I went in to see him they said he threw up more in the night before and they think he aspirated! So they took away his feeds and put him back on IV nutrients. They also said he was wheezy and the x-ray they took of his lung looked hazy so they did a bunch of cultures to make sure he doesn't have pneumonia. They also had to increase his oxygen rate and they went back up to high flow. So far all his cultures have been negative and the breathing treatments they added back on have been helping. He is being kept pretty sedated. I have been getting really irritated with that because I haven't heard him cry in like 3 or 4 days and babies are suppose to cry. At least a little. I feel like most of the Niccu nurses aren't use to much crying because most of the babies are intubated etc...so when he does cry for like 5 minutes they just want to dose him again and knock him out again, I sure can't wait for our primary nurse to come back from her days off because she holds Stephen and conforts him when I am not there. All these emotions aren't helping much either. I feel so helpless and I just wish I could make it better but I can't. I know he won't be there forever, but I just want my baby boy to feel better so we can go home and be "normal" whatever that is.